girls' advice to players, pt. 1

I know you're playing me. 

I'm fairly certain IQ tests, college GPAs, & kindergarten finger paintings will attest that I am, in fact, much smarter than you. Contrary to popular belief, I am letting you play me. I know your phone has not been broken, no matter how much you lament the fact that even your poor mother could not reach you. I know that if you're not texting me back, it's probably because you're typing to one of the three other girls who don't know about each other. I know that if I have sex with you, Mr. Attentive will disappear & Mr. Huh? will take his place. I know that even if I AM the Hottest, Funniest, most Amazing in Every Way woman in the world, YOU certainly don't think so, even when you're whispering it in my ear.

I know all of these things (& so many more), & I still let you pursue me. Because you are hot & I am a self-loathing masochist.

But I'm not an idiot. So don't treat me like one.